Be Still and No Means No

If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would be buying my second house at 30, I would not have believed you.    In 2019, my wife and I decided to get married and move in together. We knew we did not want to live in an apartment, so we went through the process of finding a house. It was hell. All of our offers in our daughter's school district were rejected. We made the hard decision to look outside her school district.  With all the rejections, we were incredibly discouraged... until we made an offer on the home picture above. By the grace of God, it was accepted. The owners stated they were called by God to give us this house. A little strange to say considering they had no clue what our religious status was. However, looking back, it was true. God wanted us to have this house.  I remember the first time walking into the house in 2019. To be honest, I did not love it. It had old appliances, nasty carpet, and odd-colored walls. It was a little over our budget,...

 This week, there was a guy in my county that murdered two people. It got me thinking. This happens every.single.day. It is heartbreaking. But it is not just the victims that it is heartbreaking for. It is heartbreaking for the criminals, too. That is something people continuously fail to see. People comment on the news articles that they are proud of the police for catching the perpetrators, that these criminals should burn in hell, and various other hateful comments. Yes, justice should be served. But justice wouldn't have to be served if we didn't fail the criminals. What that means is simple, we have failed those that are vulnerable to one day being involved in crimes. You are probably wondering, "How did I fail a bad guy?". Again, that is simple. We fail to include the weird kid. We turn the other way when we notice something is not quite right. We don't screen children for abuse. Hell, most of us don't believe kids when they come forward stating they wer...

  College is supposed to be a time of self-discovery, fun, and learning. You discover life is way different outside of high school. The world is so much more diverse than you thought. You finally get to be an adult and chase the career you dreamed of as a child (or you discover that dream was just a dream).  Due to attachment issues and undiagnosed ADHD, my college experience was not what I described above. Instead of making a lot of friends and going to parties, I tied myself down in monogamous relationships. One after the other. When I should’ve been studying, I was worrying about what my significant other was doing. I was worrying that if I took time to spend with friends or studying, I would miss out on what they were doing. Though I made decent grades, I would’ve made excellent grades if I would’ve studied. I made friends. However, they disappeared due to my attachment issues and my lack of appropriate effort to grow those friendships. I pushed people away. I let my roman...

  I have been a control freak since I came into this world. I want to know exactly what is going to happen and when it is going to happen. If I am invited somewhere, I have to ask who all will be there, what food will be served, and how long people will stay there. My lack of chill is a turn off to people, I know. It is not easy to be like this every day. It takes away from enjoying the beauty in everyday life.  These past months have been hard. I have cried and screamed. I have asked God why things don’t seem to work out for me the way I want them to. I see those around me chasing their dreams and having things work out for them. Why can’t that be me?   As a child, I knew I wanted to be a nurse. I loved the medical field and wanted to help people feel better. I was a pre-nursing scholar at UAB in 2010. This meant that I had a guaranteed spot when it was time to apply to the program. Fast forward to 2012 when it was time to apply. I freaked out and knew I wasn’t read...

A lot of people make a large group of close friends in middle school and high school. Those same people often go to college and make more close friends. They join sororities and fraternities. They even meet people at random parties that one day become bridesmaids or groomsmen in their weddings. They are able to make best friends the first day at a new job. I have never been one of those people.   I never put myself out there or put much effort into making teams or doing sports. I was scared of failure and rejection. There was also a huge secret holding me back. I remember being a small child having crushes on female teachers and famous actresses. I thought my obsessions with different women were normal. However, all of my friends were obsessed with The Backstreet Boys and NSYNC.  In 10th grade, I realized all of this meant I was gay. I finally got the answer to why I was different than the other girls in school. However, this answer to who I was didn’t make my life any ea...

I am going to start this off by saying I do not have an eating disorder. I can’t imagine how hard than must be for those that struggle with that pain everyday. However, like many women/men, I have struggled with my weight and body image my entire life. I’ve cried in the mirror. I’ve tried diets and different work outs. I’ve counted calories and weighed myself. I’ve been super thin, and I have been bigger. I have envied my friends that are “naturally thin”. I still do. I have finally gotten to the point where I don’t obsess over my weight everyday. I don’t regret what I eat, or try to make up for eating too many calories. With this quarantine, people have begun online workouts. I follow several women that are Beachbody coaches. They make it super appealing by catchy slogans and yummy looking protein shakes. They make it look easy because the workouts are short, and they use preworkout supplements to get energized before a workout. They show before and after pictures show...