My Truth About COTH

 So many people I know and care about go to Church of the Highlands. In high school, I went to various events there and participated in Motion and Serve days. The thing I loved about this church was the instant group of friends I made. I texted with several members and hung out with them outside of church functions. I finally belonged. Or so I thought.

I quickly realized this church wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. I lost my best friend that introduced me to this church. When I came out as gay, the distance between us grew bigger and bigger. After college, I was not invited to her wedding. A few months before her wedding, we sat at a coffee shop as she prayed over me as my grandmother was dying. I felt loved and cared for in that moment. Months later as other people found out I was not invited, someone that was one of her longest friends, they were hurt for me and knew exactly why I was not invited. The church taught her I was wrong. My love was wrong. The sad thing is she was not the only good friend I lost to that church. My best friend in college attended the church after facing several hardships. She found her place and changed how she saw the world. Her mental illness and homosexuality was “cured”. Luckily, she woke up and realized how damaging the church had been to her. I remember going to a small group and a very young lady suggested that individuals should stop taking medications and basically let God handle things. I remember feeling weak because I could not stop taking my medicine. I felt flawed because I relied on medication to keep myself safe from my own mind. How dangerous of someone to teach these high school girls that it is okay to quit medications? 

Church of the Highlands has done great things for the community and served so many people. I enjoyed the work I got to do when I attended the church. However, in my opinion, the damage outweighs the good. 

The latest news of a pastoral recovery center hit me like a ton of bricks. Yes, everyone deserves forgiveness and help. However, those that abuse others in any form do not deserve a spot back in a church position, especially in youth pastoral positions. I am not talking about the rehabilitation of pastors that use drugs or struggle with mental illness. Those are completely different issues than abuse of others. Though we can be forgiven by God for our sins, some sins cannot be forgotten or swept under rugs. Accountability must be had.

How about churches creating a safe space for victims of abuse within the church? Why are we taking care of predators before victims? Creating a fancy rehab for abusers is a slap in the face to victims. 

I can also imagine that being a pastor is a taxing job. How about we create support for them to prevent these wrongdoings? Supports should be in place for the mental health of all church staff and members. Also, how about churches creating a safe space for victims of abuse? Why are we taking care of predators before victims? 

We all have demons. We all make mistakes. We all do wrong. We must take responsibility for our actions. We must protect ourselves and others from spiritual abuse. We must believe those that report abuse. We must do better. We can do better.